Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
