if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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