Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
