I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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