dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My ass is underappreciated
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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