thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
