I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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