Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
