no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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