If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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