What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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