she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
