Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My feet surprised me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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