Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
