the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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