But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
