i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
