just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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