I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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