Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
