He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
