i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
