I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
