I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
