I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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