i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
