There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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