is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
