Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
