True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
