I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
