You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
