She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
