I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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