Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
