end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
