69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I stole a fireplace last night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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