Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
