Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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