I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
