Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
