what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
