??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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