What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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