Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
