so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
