Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
