My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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