Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
