With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
