Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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