I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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