gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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