she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
