she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
