so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
