Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
