I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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