i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
