I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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