Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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