he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
