I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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