It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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