your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
