At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You made out with two different species that night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
