ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
