Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
